APPROVED!

 Our Homestudy is approved!!!

Since beginning to search for agencies in late February, to finding our child in March, announcing our adoption to our families in April, conducting our homestudy and educating ourselves in May, we have arrived at June!

We received our full homestudy approval Monday, June 09 and we are so pleased to be able to announce the adoption of our child to our world! Tony and I have been overwhelmed by the response of those closest to us in theses early days of the adoption process and we are trusting God as we move forward in our journey.

Photo credit Haverlee Colyer

The next steps for us involve filing government paper work, filing for and receiving our visas, compiling our dossier of important paperwork with the help of Bethany Services Dossier Specialist and continuing our adoption education. We are still unaware of what our exact timeline is, but because we have an identified child we expect the process to run quite quickly. It is likely we will travel within the next 6 months to bring our child home!

Tony and I have seen God work in amazing ways throughout this process so far and we are continuing to trust Him in the impossible. Through the generous support of close friends and God's provision we have been able to stay current on all of our payments to Bethany up to this point. We are now waiting for paperwork to go through and more funds to be raised so we can move forward. We continue to trust that as we move forward God will provide as necessary. We invite you into this incredible process and humbly ask for your support both financially and through prayer as we continue.

Please pray for smooth processes both with the US and with the country of origin. Pray for discernment for Tony and me as we press on in the areas of family development, connectedness in our marriage and readiness for the changes that lie ahead for our family. Pray also for wisdom in our finances and provision in this area.

We also ask for special prayer for our little one who is so far from us. Pray for those working with our child that they feel loved and cared for as they care for our child. Please ask God to comfort our child with real and tangible human touch. Pray also for the physical care and nourishment of our child.

Most of all we ask that you rejoice with us in a God who loves so desperately! Our hearts are filled to overflowing by the love and grace of Jesus and we are so excited to welcome the gift of this child into our family!

If you would like to join our to follow our story or join our team of support please visit our YouCaring site.
Originally posted: 6/12/14 on our YouCaring site.

Growing Through Love

 Over the last few years we have been walking a journey with Jesus that has lead us to places beyond our imagining. God has faithfully pursued us and has filled our hearts to overflowing. It is out of this overflow of love that we are excited to welcome a new member into the Chiaramonte family.

photo credit Haverlee Colyer

While our hearts have been drawn to adoption, it has been unclear the path we would take. God opened the door to our child through Bethany Christian Services' "These 400" program. "These 400" is a database consisting of children waiting to be adopted around the globe. There are many reasons children are considered "waiting children", among them are special needs, advanced age, or sibling groups.

We had no idea what we would encounter as we browsed the list of children and fully expected that a match for our family would take some time. We were unsure where God would lead us in terms of age, gender or country of origin, but we knew where to start...so we did.

It didn’t take long for God to lead us to a specific child that Tony and I both felt drawn to. We have now been preliminarily matched with this child and we are beginning our home study process with Bethany. We are so ecstatic and cannot wait to continue this journey towards bringing this child home to our family, friends and community.

Due to the nature of the waiting child program, there are strict privacy policies regarding the children listed. There are many details we are excited to share however, in order to protect this child, we are bound by a code of confidentiality with Bethany and the country of origin. We will update as often as we have new information that we are able to share. Please check back often as our prayer needs will certainly be great!

To follow our story or join our team of support visit our YouCaring site. 

Originally posted: April 8, 2014 on our YouCaring site.

God Kisses

(photo credit tablespoon.com)

I have a thing for curly hair. I have always wanted it. Curly hair, is to me, the power behind cool girls. It represents carefree ease and simplicity in a way that flat ironed, highlighted, blow-dried hair just doesn't. For some reason I see freedom in those twisted tresses.

If you weren't aware of this, hair is a pretty big deal. There are vast markets based on these dead cells that grow out of tiny follicles stretched over our skulls.  It's weird when you think about it, but hair matters. Ask any man who's loosing his, he'll tell you. Well, anyway, hair matters...to us.

I never thought for a minute that my hair matters to God. Chop it, twist it, color it, flatten it, pin it who cares?! Not God!  I never got up in the morning and asked God, "what should we do with this pile of old skin today?" It really never entered my mind. Until it did.

Workin' my hair for all it was worth '05 (left) '08 (right)

Until I was pregnant, and then wasn't, and then was again, and then had a baby, and then began nursing, and then I was pregnant again, and then I was nursing and pregnant and then I had a 2nd baby and then all the hair that I had grown and lost and grown again started to pull at my scalp. Hi! I had really put my body through a lot, and it's not like I was done. I chopped my hair and started growing it out again, and when it was just at the longest it had ever been...you guessed it. Pregnant again.

Now, my hair is thick! It takes 15 minutes to blow-dry when it's short, when it's two feet down my back and fueled by super pregnancy progesterone it's impossible. Add two toddlers and a giant belly to this mess and I couldn't even stand up long enough to make it look decent in a top knot.

gradually giving up my need to control '10 (left photo credit Abby Thompson Flies) and '10 (right)

In a weird way God was breaking me. Not just the hair, it was everything (see crazy paragraph above). I was a baby making, milk-producing machine. Living off hormones and chocolate, unable to tie my own shoes. In all His majestic ways, God was bringing me to my knees before the throne. He asked me to give up everything I could control so that He could show His great power. Not the least of which was my hair.

Of course there is so much more to this story than my hair, but all that for another day. Today it's about the hair.

After my 3rd child arrived in all his 9lb. 6oz splendor, the bloom of my long locks began to fade and it was eventually time to relinquish my crowning glory to the cutting room floor. It may not have been awesome but at least it was a good security blanket. I chopped 9 inches off in one sitting and returned back a second time to snip off another inch or so. I was free and light and...curly.

I never really put this into a "God" category, which is ridiculous in and of itself, but this morning as I was getting ready I really felt like this curliness is a gift. Not to say that I pleased God enough that He granted my wish of curly hair. I don't believe God is in the wish granting business, but I do believe He knows me. He knows my heart and my desires. He knows my body and my chemistry. He knows everything about me and sometimes He chooses for all those things to come together to impress His love upon me. My mom has always called these "God Kisses" and I think that is really the right term for it.

 (photo credit candidlypretty.blogspot.com)

James 1:17 says "Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning." When trying to shrug off the feeling that my curly hair is a "God Kiss" this verse came to mind. Curly hair is so trivial, but it's generous of God to think of it. It's so meaningless, except that it is a perfect gift to a girl who's always dreamed of it. I never prayed for curly hair, or thought in anyway I would have naturally curly hair (intermittent perms do not count as actually curly hair) In some way I feel like it's God saying to me, "This is you. You're free. Enjoy it."

Mostly I think this is a "God Kiss" because He's enabled me to see it as such. Until this morning I've just scrunched up my hair and not thought a second about it, but for some reason today was the day I realized what's going on here. God is revealing Himself to me. He's reminding me He's cares about my deepest thoughts. He's telling me I'm His and that is what makes me good.

All my hair could fall out tomorrow, every stitch. I honestly would not care. In the great scheme of things my hair doesn't matter. What matters is that I serve a God who goes down deep into my heart and loves me well. Who remains good and goes to great lengths to remind me I am FREE. He knows every hair on my head, and for now, He's made them curly.

Little me circa 1992

Down Deep

It was 5:56AM when I heard my firstborn son call out this morning. "DAD! DAAAAD!" It is important to say that his 3 year old sister was sleeping soundly in the bunk directly beneath him. My husband sighed and said, "is he calling me?" (Uh, duh?!) I didn't answer and he eventually got the deal and headed up the stairs.

5:56AM is early, I'm not sure if you know this. And it is even earlier for a pre-menstrual mother of three children under the age of 5. It is even earlier when your 8 month old baby wakes up at 6:15AM wanting a bottle, your 3 year old rouses groggily at 6:25AM and your loving husband is out the door by 6:30AM to head off to his newly minted workout regime that you don't love so much. Oh, did I mention I was still sleeping off the Unisom I took last night so I could sleep through hormone induced insomnia. This day did not start well.

As I was lying in bed trying to muster the strength to open my eye lids and grasping at who I could be mad at, God spoke gently to me. We have been memorizing 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 as a family and this morning God calmed my heart with His Word. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

This sums up our life most days

I have to admit, when God calls me to His word I am often annoyed. I want to dig in my heels and be selfish, sluggish and angry. I want to act like my 4 year old and thrash against the logic that is presented to me through God's loving words. I want to, in short, be human. But God, through His Word and through the sanctifying work of Christ calls me to become come out of mere humanity and enter the life giving fray of His will.

Through the years I have learned to accept the call to memorization and meditation. To allow the words of God to sink in deep into my heart and begin their work. I have realized that rote memorization and the carrying of note cards tucked in my Big Bible are not helpful to me, but application of Scripture to my circumstances is changing my heart. Working out the words of God in my day to day existence has proved to me how real and delightful and life-giving they truly are.

So as I laid in bed this morning I prayed "God make me joyful. God help me to turn to you in prayer. Thank you God that my children are healthy and happy and secure. Thank you that you have a will for me and it involves joy, prayer and thankfulness. Oh, and God...do this day for me. Please help me get out of this bed!"

His Word is truth and it never comes back void. Case in point. I am awake. I am writing. I am living in the very words of God through Christ Jesus, the living and active Word of God.

Now if you'll excuse me. The baby is awake, and I'm sure he needs to be fed.

Getting it Right

Shortly after Christmas my family had our pictures taken. This year I decided not to allow myself to think about it, knowing if I did I would stress and wind up hating every photo because of the undo pressure that would force a tense smile. I can always read the uneasiness behind my own eyes in every photograph. In fact the photos of myself I love the most are the ones taken right before or after each of my children has been born. There is no expectation of perfection, just the sweet mixture of joy, exhaustion and peace.

Needless to say, despite our photographer friend's immense talent, I was not looking forward to thumbing through images of frizzy hair, lazy eyes and double chins. Imagine my surprise as I clicked through the downloads of the session filled with sly smiles, laughter and personality. Then it happened. **Click** Oh. My. Goodness. She got it. A picture of myself and my daughter, Leilah, in a completely real moment in time. Lovely. Then **Click** Perfection! Leilah and I have a fun and silly relationship and these two pictures captured our relationship so fully. Our good friend had gotten it so right.

 

photo credit Laura Wills Photography

I love this concept. Getting it right. So right. Like the right that you want to tap into your phone, take a picture of and post to Instagram. I feel this kind of right when I make my kids a really good breakfast. I always want to take a picture of the eggs, toast, yogurt and smoothie and brag to all my online besties about what a good mom I am. Something like: "When you've got it, you've got it! #bestmomever" (although I'd never use hashtags. Women 30+ are forbidden to do this, at least that's what my husband tells me). The affirmation would pour in and there I would be in my legging clad, slippered glory relishing the praise and jealousy of lesser mortals.

And while I think this self-aggrandizing practice has gotten out of hand in my own life, I do think there is a real precedent for bragging, especially in the heart and mind of a Christian. Shocking, I know, but scripture is pretty clear that bragging is permissible and even encouraged. 

Paul speaks numerous times of boasting the Lord (2 Corinthians 10, Romans 15, Galatians 6, 1 Corinthians 1) not to mention the entirety of the book of Psalms and the proclamations of God's prophets such as Jeremiah and Ezekiel. In fact, I think it could be argued that every major Biblical character boasted at some point or another about the work of God in their life. Of course, the giant glaring difference between our social media self-pep talks and the Biblical practice of boasting boils down to the subject of our praise and the manner in which we deliver our message of glory. 

I have noticed than in many circles of Christian community the trend is to downplay our holiness. Inasmuch, as I often find myself and others focusing on the pitfalls of sin and then entrapment of  daily life rather than rejoicing in the victories of Christ in our hearts and the freedom of Jesus in our lives. While personal growth and exploration in our journey of Sanctification is right and good, so also is rejoicing in the finished work of our Justification and the realization of Christ-likeness in our lives on a daily basis. I often think we don't brag because we are too prideful. We have exchanged the humility of knowing who we are is because of Jesus for the pride of "choosing" Him, therefore we do not speak of the things "we have done" in our Christian life instead of embracing the goodness of who He is in us. Our internal pride keeps us from external praise.

I love it when another believer tells a story of "getting it right": finding a solution they would not have thought of because of the renewing of their mind; taking action they had never even dreamed of before submitting their will to Jesus; loving someone they had written off because of a renewing relationship with the Savior of the World. Restoring relationships. Living radically. Changing. All because of Jesus. We should be rejoicing in this! A hurting world would be drawn to a leader who restores us to what we were meant to be. Everything He created us to be. 

The confounding joy of Jesus is that He has made us perfect because of His perfect love and sacrifice, and He is guiding us to the realization of that perfection in time. This is the joy of our Salvation! A God who is bigger than anything else and is working in bigger ways than we could possibly imagine. We should shout that from the mountains. And not in a depressing minor key, but in a way that really relates joy!

In his book the Art of Self-Forgetfulness, Timothy Keller reminds us that if we have entered relationship with Christ, and if we are choosing to follow Him, He should be the cornerstone of every decision, every thought, every breath. Therefore, if we are disliked or causing offense, it is not us but Christ in us who is the subject of the negative emotion. In the same way, I think we must remember that if we have this kind of relationship with Christ then every positive should be attributed, as well, to Christ. Our freedom is then to boast because we are boasting in the Lord. 

The reason I am so happy with this year's set of photos is not because I dressed my family so well. I did not. It was not because we are exceptional models. We are not. It was not because the setting was so undeniably picturesque. It wasn't. It is because the photographer got it right. Being a family friend, she knows us. She captures real moments. She edits well. She does her job superbly. The photos are good, not because I'm so awesome but because she is.

The same is true for my walk with Jesus. My life is not awesome because I am so organized. I am not. It's not abundant because I seize every opportunity with vigor. I don't. It's not redeemed because I have brought myself out of the darkness. I have not. It's because God loves me and Jesus has made a way for that love to burst into my heart and overflow every vessel and seep out into a world that is being restored to perfect relationship with Him. I will boast in that, #Hegotitright!

photo credit Laura Wills Photography

Perfect Love

If you know me at all one thing that is clearly evident is this: I LOVE MY HUSBAND. Period. The end. I love him. I could extol his virtues all day. If you know him, you'll understand, if you don't then I'm sorry. He is an incredible man of God who loves Jesus, his family and his work. He pushes me in surprising ways and is never afraid of self-valuation and recalibration. 

All that being said, he is not the most spontaneous man. He thrives on analysis and planning, two things I am honestly surprised are even in my vocabulary. He keeps me grounded, I keep him guessing. This why I was so surprised when, on the way home from some random meeting one evening, he turns to me and says, "I think we should get a tattoo." Ummm...excuse me?! Do you know who you are? I was floored! Mostly because the last discussion we had about tattoos ended with basic sentiment that tattoos were not the sort of thing he desired for his wife to possess.

You see, God has been pushing us lately. Testing our limits. While the topic of tattoos is still controversial in some Christian circles, it seemed as though God was using this to push us closer together and challenge us to embrace the freedom of Christ in different ways. So when my husband asked me to get a tattoo with him I knew immediately what it should say.

photo credit Laura Wills Photography

Jesus has been revealing Himself to our family in great ways. In specific, I have spent the last few years becoming deeply acquainted with a Jesus I thought I knew, but had no clue about. He has uncovered truths about Himself hidden to me in the past and has blown open the idea of who He is in history, in the world and in my own heart. Study of Hebrews, Romans, 1,2 & 3 John and John's gospel is beginning to revolutionize my heart in ways 5 years ago I would have condemned. Jesus is showing me who He is and who He's made me to be.

With this in mind and having just finished up a study in 1 John 4, specifically 1 John 4:18, I turned to Tony and said, "It should say 'perfect love'". To my utter shock without missing a beat he agreed! We were both on the same page and we both knew immediately what this meant. Although none of it had to be explained, we conversed at length about how "perfect love" had transformed us, not our love for each other but rather the love that Jesus had blossomed in our hearts over the past 9 years of our marriage and is continuing to cultivate.

It wasn't until we got home and spent some time digging through exactly what John meant by "perfect love" in 1 John 4:18 that we found God was truly revealing Himself deeply through us and this was a sentiment we wanted to permanently mark our physical bodies.

The Greek words for "perfect love", which is how Tony's tattoo reads, are "teleia agape". Agape of course refers to Divine Love. This is the kind of love that God has for us, unending, never-failing, unconditional. Teleia or it's root Teleios is the real kicker for us. This word is so delicate and intricate it makes the English equivalent of "perfect" seem small. Teleia, in this context is defined by Strong's as mature (consummated) from going through the necessary stages to reach the end-goal, i.e. developed into a consummating completion by fulfilling the necessary process (spiritual journey).

This therefore, means that the "perfect love" described by John is indeed complete and being completed. It is finished yet active. It is in process to a goal that has already been achieved! How lovely and Divine! And how well these two words illustrate the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. How perfectly He loved us! He accomplished His goal and is loving us toward the same goal. He has restored all things to God and IS restoring all things to God. I love the way God has conquered time through Christ and yet lives within it in His people. It is no less than "perfect love".

So one random Tuesday night we left our 3 kids with my desperately cool younger sister (who, by the way, had just had her quarter sleeve filled in with gradated color) and walked into our neighborhood tattoo parlor. Nothing will make you feel more uncool than being a 30-year-old couple getting wrist tattoos as you sit across from your artist with the word EDGE scrawled in permanent ink down the side of his face (my super cool sister and her hipster husband did try to explain this to me, I still don't really understand it). Paul (who also wore a tweed newsie cap, by the way) was awesome and patient with two tattoo virgins one of whom was beyond chatty and excited and the other who quietly endured the process - I'll let you sort which was which.

We walked away with our cool tattoos. His a perfectly metered Greek rendition of "perfect love". Mine a scribbled sentiment in my husband's handwriting. We know that to some people it reads cheesy. We're okay with that. We know that other people will be annoyed, if not miffed that we desecrated our bodies with ink. That's okay, too. We're okay with all of it, because that is what it's all about! 1 John 4:18-19 reads, "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first."

The rest of the chapter is pretty awesome, too. But that will have to wait for another day. For today we stand in the promise and the hope of His perfect love. Accomplished and active yesterday, today and forever.

Family Affair

Our house is a ball of chaos. From 6AM until 7:30PM we are a whirlwind of little hands, feet, and stomachs. It can be hard, if not nearly impossible to get all of our teeth brushed much less study and apply the Word of God in our lives. We are not sitting down for long family devotions or gathering in our living room for discussions about Jesus. Our kids are 5, 4 and 16 months old. We're lucky we're alive some nights as we pour ourselves into bed and mutter goodnight to one another. 

Our season of life may be chaotic, we may not have devoted "God time" in our home, and our mealtime prayers may often be hurried and repetitive, but God is teaching us that through His Word our family can stay focused and centered on His truth and through memorization and meditation He is working His heart into our hearts. 

The beautiful thing about Bible memorization is that through planting God's Words in our hearts and minds we are able to see more of Him throughout the day. We have given up the Rockwellian ideal of sitting around the Big Bible in our home and have instead found freedom in slowly dissecting bits of scripture as a family. Whether in between bites at the dinner table, or at stoplights, or, my personal favorite, while pushing our kids through the supermarket, by memorizing His Words we get to communicate with and about God openly throughout our day.

One very helpful thing that helps keep me focused is to not only learn the scriptures myself, but to practice boiling each passage down to its pure essence to teach our kids. While I completely believe that our children are capable of memorizing large chunks of scripture I have found it helpful for them and for me to get to the root of the passage and dig into the true meaning. I think this is especially helpful for kids when applying what they are memorizing.

So here you have it. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 distilled into the hearts and minds of our children looks like this: "Choose joy, pray, be thankful! This is God's plan for you!" As they grow in wisdom we will revisit this truth. For now these are the things I want my kids to know and absorb into their hearts.

Here are some ways to start memorizing with your kids this week:

• Print and hang the picture above. More for you than for them!
• Any time you have down time in your day review the verse with them. A few of my favorites are: In the car, at the lunch table, while running errands, during cuddle-time or baths.
• Talk to them about what each piece of the verse means. What is joy? How do we pray? To whom and why are we thankful?
• Express what the verse means to you and how you have seen it in your own life.
• Work it into your discipline routine. "Let's 'choose joy' instead of whining". "I know your afraid, we should pray about that." "Let's thank God for a fun time with our buddies."

You'll be amazed how quickly your kids pick up verses. They have a great capacity for memorization and understanding. The thing I love best about memorizing scripture with our kids is that it releases me from a lot of heavy lifting. If I don't know what to say or do I can often recall a verse we've studied that applies to a situation. God longs to speak to each of our hearts and He does so through His Word. Why would our kids be any different? Truth calms, it soothes, it disciplines, and it heals. There is no greater truth than that of God's very own words.