On
Friday we received the news that our Dossier is on it’s way to the
Country of Origin and we couldn’t have been more thrilled! I think
Tony’s text to me summed up our feelings: “Skidoo!” it read, “I meant to
say Wahoo, but autocorrect seemed to express my feelings.” It’s true,
“skidoo!” is how it feels to have our 90-some page formal document
biography sent to the country where our child lives. Though it’s so far
away, and our child will never hold it, it’s nice to know that someone,
somewhere in that country at least knows we exists. We can’t be there
physically, but now we are there on paper!
As
soon as I found out our paperwork was on its way to out of the country,
in my mind, I was too. I was packing in my head, figuring out
arrangements for our kids, holding our newest kiddo on my lap. I was
ready to board a plane tomorrow. According to our service plan we would
be traveling in late 2014 and that plus the fact that our Dossier is now
on file in the review room put me in the mindset that we are inches
away from the finish line. We immediately emailed our agency to double
check our timeline and see if we would be traveling even earlier than we
expected. We wanted to be prepared.
The
news that followed hit me like a punch in the gut. Not only will we not
be traveling within the next few months, it will take our Dossier an
average of 3 months to get through the review process. Three MONTHS!
THREE MONTHS! That’s just the Dossier, after that we have paperwork,
visas, travel plans, etc… our time line that just 3 days ago was, to me,
6-8 weeks, has now lengthened to 5-7 MONTHS! I was discouraged.
Throughout
this process we have managed to keep ourselves positive, looking to
what God is doing in the now, celebrating victories and milestones as
they come. But when the news came that we were almost there my focus
shifted and all of a sudden my hope became what God will do instead of
what God is doing. I had allowed myself to say “tomorrow I will do this
and that, or we will go to this and that country.” If there’s anything
God has spoken to my heart during this process it is DON’T DO THIS!
James 4:13 has been all over my heart, but in my haste I forgot “... [I]
do not know what [my] life will be like tomorrow. [I am] just a vapor
that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.…”
So
“what’s the good news, Katie”! Here’s the good news. God has been
speaking gently, tenderly to my heart. On Monday, before we received
news of our timeline I began memorizing Colossians 1:15-17. I thought
this was just a way to celebrate and refocus my mind on scripture, it
wasn’t until Tuesday morning as I was lying in bed praying for expedited
paperwork that these works came back to me so strongly:
So
clearly God spoke to my heart, “You have all you need, find in me your
patience your endurance. Don’t forget the joy I’ve given you. Thank me
for all you have. Remember I have enabled you, and your children to live
in my light. You are free. I am good.” God moved my heart to refocus on
Him. He invited me to come into His presence and spoke truth to my
heart.
Later
on that day a dear friend, who is in the early stages of her own
adoption, came to me. She explained how her own feelings of anxiety and
discouragement had been ruling her. Then she shared with me a beautiful
truth God had revealed to her in a dream. In her dream God was holding
out His hands to her, in one hand was her child, in the other; ours. God
spoke strongly to her heart that He was holding our children in His
hands. What better place can they be!
*after completing this blog post we received our log in date (LID). We now know that the country of origin is actively working on translating and reviewing our Dossier! This is a huge boost to our Spirits as we walk forward in faith celebrating each moment of the journey!
To follow our story or join our team of support visit our YouCaring site.
Originally Posted: 9/18/12 on our YouCaring site.
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