All the Promises

What do you pray when you don’t know what to pray? I am starting to learn that what I can pray is the truth of Scripture, the promises of God and the desires of my heart. In this case I know at least two of the three will hold up as the Truth of who God is never changes. In regards to the desires of my heart, I realize that these are not always in line with God’s plans and often He changes my heart as I pray, but sometimes...oh, sometimes these desires are met with wonderful and explosive Love!

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These last few months have been an emotional roller coaster for our family, especially me. The waiting, resting, wondering, surrendering, hoping, praying, patient pursuit of our son has left me ragged. Add to that the calling of God on our life to stretch forward into His plan for our life with little to no knowledge of the future and you have a recipe for a Katie puddle at the base of the cross. Expectations, longing, brokeness and restoration have collided in real and tangible ways in our living room, in restaurants, in friends’ homes...at the Y. Most days, these past few weeks were spent in processing mode trying to understand our place in God’s Kingdom and how He is manifesting that in our lives.

Since our last update we have been praying for our Dossier processing and the arrival of our Letter of Acceptance from the Country of Origin. Our prayer the entire time remained steady expediency, for the employees of the government to have persistence in their daily work and for patience for our anxious hearts. Since our paperwork arrived in the Country of Origin during one of their most vibrant national holidays we imagined our documents being shuffled under piles and being left for after the country-wide, week-long vacation. It seems we were correct in our assumptions as our LOA took the longest expected time to be processed.

My prayer throughout the entire process had been that we receive our LOA before Christmas. I’m not sure why I had chosen this date in my mind, but to me, it seemed appropriate and kept my mind fixated on a goal. The Friday before Christmas I had all but given up hope that it would arrive and had resigned myself to a Christmas break spent in the same Limbo in which we had been living. God’s promises remained the same. His character was unchanged. He was still so loving and good, but I’m not gonna lie...I really wanted that piece of paper. Once again I laid down my expectations and took a deep breath, one more holiday spent waiting, one more family milestone missing a piece, one more day wondering.

God in His goodness knows when to answer us. He delights in delighting in us. He loves to love us...and love us well. Monday morning we received word from our agency that our LOA had arrived and it would be overnighted to us to arrive the next day...Christmas Eve Day. Along with all the symbolism that Christmas Eve represents, it also is the day we celebrate Christmas with our small little band, just the 5 of us in our jammies opening stockings and gifts. Tony and I traditionally don’t get each other anything for Christmas, but I couldn’t help thinking what an incredible gift it was to open that Letter on the day we celebrate the Savior of the world, 2014 years later He is still redeeming, still working, still active, still answering the prayers of an expectant heart.

Honestly, here is where the timeline turns fuzzy for me. I know we signed papers for grant applications. Tony sent our immigration paperwork to our government and rounded up our passports and shipped them off to a complete stranger to courier them to the Consulate in Chicago for our Visas. Our case worker informed us of a $1000 anonymous donation made to our existing balance from someone we didn’t even know, and gifted Christmas monies covered the cost of our paperwork. Prayers for provision, knowledge and rest were all granted. Deep soul desires were met, not because of incredible acts of faith on our part, but because of the loving acts of our Father whose Glory fills the earth.

Our timeline is still sketchy. Because our paperwork traveled to our government after Christmas we lost days due to our country’s main holiday. Post offices were closed, government offices have days of rest and we are waiting. Today is New Year’s Eve and we found out this morning our 1-800 has reached the USCIS and has been logged into processing. We are deeply grateful for the systems in this country that allow us to be kept apprised of the process and hope for more updates as we continue. It is my prayer that the days of rest for those involved in our case with invigorate them in their work, providing the refreshment needed to serve the families in our country in our same situation.

In the midst of all these amazing steps forward I am most grateful for one afternoon spent moving furniture and setting up a little bed and a little chair and a little table. Hanging artwork and loving filling selves. I am grateful for little sheets and pillows and blankets. I am grateful our son now has a corner of earth to call his own. His own bed, his own chair, his own table, his own books, his own map, his own pictures. Here, so far away from where his story began, he will find roots. He will know what it’s like to breath his own air and fill his lungs fully. He can stretch out. He can feel loved. He can rest.

God is so good. When we don’t know what to pray He fills our mouths. When we don’t know what to do, He directs our steps. The earth belongs to Him and everything in it. When we turn our hearts toward Him he reminds us that everyday, in everyway, He is saving us...all of us. He is the Light of the World and He is overcoming every ounce of our darkness. He is a good Father. We are all His children and He loves us all so much...so very, very much!

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