The Alive Project

What does it mean to be Alive? Truly alive? Not what does it mean to be me, simply what does it mean to BE? This question has been nagging me as of late. I want to know, not only what it is to be a white, suburban, middle-class, American, woman. I want to know what it is to be human. I have found myself so wrapped up in my own culture and experience that the world outside of my small sphere of influence seems like a setting in a book with the characters only coming to life when I choose to open the cover, break the binding and begin reading. When it gets to be too much, I simply close the book, stick it on the shelf and go about my daily life. It’s what I call my “Other People Problem.”

I remember admitting to my husband a truth I have been ashamed of my whole life, my “Other People Problem”. I turned to him after some sort of conversation about someone or something and said, “I just have such a problem with the concept of other people.” He was, understandably taken aback, because, of course, everyone understands the concept of other people. However, as I went on to process my own thoughts it became apparent to me that the main issue in my “Other People Problem” is simply that I cannot see things how other people see them. I deeply want to understand what other people are thinking and feeling, but I have no clue how to connect with them. Outside of the small number of people I call my friends and family I cannot understand the human dynamic. In short, I have NO empathy.

When thinking about this today I ran across a posting by a good friend of mine of Facebook. It was this short video made with excerpts from a lecture by Dr. Brené Brown on the differences between Sympathy and Empathy. Her words and the truth of them struck to the heart of my “Other People Problem”. The truth of the matter is, I have LOADS of sympathy, but very little empathy. I am really good at feeling bad for you, but I am terrible at feeling with you.

Dr. Brown says this in the video, “Empathy is a vulnerable choice because in order to connect with you I have to connect with something within myself that knows that feeling.” I think this may come to the order of what it is to be alive. That in some way empathy is innately tied to the nature of God and therefore to us as His created beings. This is a marker on the path that I have been walking toward, a “signpost”, if you will, on the journey towards what it means to be truly alive.

This confirms in my spirit what I believe God has been telling me about myself and my journey over the last few years. Knowing that life is not just about me or my personal relationship with God, though this is important; but understanding that God desires me to feel what He feels for His world. He desires me to empathize, to feel what the world feels and to feel what He feels for His world. In this great cyclical pattern I can begin to connect with others and also with the heart of God Himself.  When I have empathy with others I begin to have empathy with God. I begin to understand how He feels about His creation, humanity, the workings of the world. As I connect with the created, I begin to connect with the Creator.  

And so, I have decided to embark on The Alive Project, the aim of which is to connect with the world that God loves so much. I don’t know how long the project will last or what it will entail, but I do know that God is pushing me further into the reality of His heart and His Kingdom on Earth. There is very little criterion for what experiments will comprise the breadth of the project, only this, the leading of the Holy Spirit to experience the daily life of another with the express purpose of acknowledging and understanding the heart of God towards His created order. 

I cannot wait to share with you the most recent experiment and how it has changed me. It is interesting and mundane all at the same time, but it is worthy and holy. Several posts on each experiment will follow. As long as Jesus leads me, I will follow, choosing to say “yes” to connection. Choosing to move forward. Choosing to live fully ALIVE.